Thursday, November 20, 2008

I am the White Trash Queen...


So, Chad called us this morning and asked if we wanted to meet him for lunch...we were so excited since we don't usually get to meet him for lunch, of course we agreed. I packed up the girls and planned to run to Wal-Mart after for some groceries...everything was working out perfectly. We met Chad and had a great lunch at one of our favorite dives (Braums...good burgers, great shakes). Chad had to duck out a few minutes before us to get back to work, but no problem, I have handled two kids somewhat successfully for almost 4 months now. As I grabbed Jordyn's car seat to carry her out to the car, I noticed a smell. A smell that I recognized and agonized...the mega-poop. I then noticed the lovely shade of yellow that her once white onsie was becoming...Awesome!! I tried to take her into the restroom to find the changing station...but of course since we went to a dive, there was no such thing in the restroom...Awesome! So, I do what any white trash woman would...I decide to change her diaper in the car (hey, the jeep has a lot of trunk space right?) I look in my purse for a new onsie to miraculously appear (but I would have to pack one in order for it to appear) so I was out of luck. I did have diapers and wipes, so I wasn't totally unprepared. After I cleaned her up and realized that her outfit was too poopey to wear, I decided that we'd just buy her a new one at Wal-Mart...but for now my poor child was wearing only a diaper. If it had been August, no big deal, but today was quite chilly and windy. So I put her in her car seat and snuggled her blanket around her as tightly as she would allow. And off we went to Wal-Mart. I raced into the store and went straight to the kids clothes where I found a warm outfit for her to wear. I raced back to the front of the store to purchase the outfit. I then raced to their bathroom to put her in the outfit, where numerous women watched in suspicion as I put her into her new clothes...I am sure that they thought that I was stealing it and using my baby as my accomplice, but I had my receipt so my conscience is clear. We then proceeded to do our grocery shopping. One more awesome part of this story...while changing Jordyn I leaned up against the hitch on the back of the jeep and I had black oil all over my khaki pants the whole time I was shopping at Wal-Mart. Seriously, an awesome experience! That Britney Spears ain't got nothin' on me. But every mom has had a day like this right?

8 comments:

Brandy said...

Yes we all have days like this. And take it from me it doesn't help if it happens in the summer. Lets just say walking out of your new ward with your baby in just a diaper and crap all over your shirt!

The Bonham Family said...

If they said no they would just be lying! Is it bad if you have one of those moments everyday!! My favortie is when you walk around with fresh poop on ya all day long!!! Keep it up girl! Your a great mom! It's an adjustment carrying anything more than one around. Dang right Brittney has nothing on us!

Lac said...

Everyone has had one of these days. Where you drag your kid out butt naked! Trust me, happens more than I care to admit!

Dallas said...

Mega-poops rule.

Tif said...

Please tell me you were wearing flip flops and a Taz shirt for all of this. :)

JR and Brynn said...

Can you say, "Ghett-O!" Love it! You are hilarious and we have all been there my friend.

Beam Family said...

Yep, I blogged about it. I was feeding Nikolas in the dressing room of Dillards when Conner had a huge poopy blow out, I had to put Nikolas down to change Conner and he was screaming and then had a poopy blowout of his own. We came out of the dressing room, Conner in just his shirt and diaper, Nikolas crying and me totally frazzled and wondering why I had two kids!!

Britt said...

Okay, I must have missed this post. I am laughing and feeling so happy right now. I ALWAYS get to the store and realize that someone stinks, is naked or doesn't match. Thank you for making me feel better.